It's deafening. In , Angelou recited her poem " On the Pulse of Morning " at the presidential inauguration of Bill Clinton , becoming the first poet to make an inaugural recitation since Robert Frost at John F. Walk now because that was me. Today, it is needed to say new things. It breaks me down, eating away at my soul. Your heartfelt comment and appreciate has had a similar effect on my evening.
The wall can finally come down, Allowing honesty to prevail. Her calming voice quietly floods the air, With positivity and reassurance. Giving you dignity while revealing shameful memories, As you share the darkest secrets for the first time. She uses her force field to shield the inner child, To reduce shame and humiliation.
She gives strength and saves you from the loneliness, Holding you tight to reduce anxiety. She gives reassuring hugs so you are not alone, That give security and relieve fear. While infusing confidence she protects nd guides you through, Giving you courage and self belief to fight on. The power of her smile that reassures you it's safe, To reveal the horrors that have caused so much shame. The gentle nod that lets you know it's ok to say the words, That have been silenced for decades.
She is armed with colouring pens, To release the words that are too painful to speak. And tissues to mop up puddles of sadness, So nothing is hidden, not even the most humiliating wounds. Her intuition is like x-ray vision, Enabling her to see into the soul. With her talents she defeats the enemy daily, Giving survivors back control and power to be free from the past.
She is a true angel on Earth, Who heals using her special powers and kind heart. To support and repair broken souls, Doing her best to make the world a better place. The riverbed is dry, The waterfall frozen in time. Unable to trickle over the edge, To relieve the current of hurt, The cascading pools of loss. The tears won't fall, Yet I feel so sad. My body aches with sorrow, Yet my cheeks are still dry. Willing the tears to flow, But they've been blocked forever, No one to mop up the suffering.
Will the dam ever break? The pain inside needs to release, To set free the ripple of heartache, Some how. Some way. But it's been blocked for too many years. Waves wash over me A gentle lap, swept aside, aside. All angry crash, borne away by the tide. Just the horizons sadness and the stark vestigial memory; black waves washing over me.
Endless sea, the maddening flow, of rights and wrongs, of shames and blames, Illusions, delusions, reality, truth …. The shore may not know what the castaway shows, no hunt for nourishment, nor shelter, nor relief, no need or care for proof. All those things will never be. All those things just never were. Adrift within the oceans embrace with no wish to find the shore. Drifting in the seas embrace till the waves wash over, no more. At eleven, your touch, it made me squirm Its distant past, you might say, but your filthy smirk will forever stay Not showers, nor time will undo that vile memory of you.
But in the end you walked away, and they said it was my fault anyway. While all you wear is that lecherous smile that, years later, still sends shivers down my spine.
Yet, you still believe you did nothing wrong. You blurred my perception of lust n appreciation, made me cringe at the touch of true passion. I wake up wishing you would just die.
How I wish you were only one guy. This story is not just mine, but of many a man, woman and child. I am relaxed and calm, No anxiety now, new found peace and rest. Yet if I am truthful, I miss the flutterings each day. They've been part of me endlessly, It feels uncomfortable in a way. I won't waste time worrying, In case the caterpillars return. I'll get used to no butterflies, Until the case re-adjourns. The butterflies have emerged, From their chrysalises inside. And are elsewhere now to grow, Allowing my soul to thrive.
So goodbye my familiar butterflies, I am relieved you've escaped. My life has new meaning, Now I've faced being raped. When I had my own children I knew exactly what I had to do And that was to protect them with my life from people like you I never forget coming home from work to find you Mum and dad with my innocent child Laughing and talking with my abuser I exploded in a rage and explained it all telling you I would go to court and have it all on print in a pagea I at least expected from you a hug,a sob an embrace And a kiss on my face But all I got was Oh Jac Think of the family's shame Not one mention of my fucking pain Mum now you've passed away I think of you so many days Why when you used to hear me cry Why the hell didn't you ever ask me why.
When I was a small child,I was badly abused,nobody ever knew or was slightly moved So I just had to live with being regularly abused I lost my childhood it turned so sour So when I was little I thought of him so many hours I became a challenge and was so misunderstood Because in everybody's eyes I could never be any good Tears often running down my face because I was made to feel I'm a total disgrace and not fit to live in the human race Even now I remember the hurt and the pain I tried telling you once mum but it was in vein So some days I felt a burning passion some days so sad,some days an eternal rage just like a wounded animal trapped in a cage Mum now you've passed away I do think of you nearly every day Why when you used to hear me cry Why the hell Didn't you ever ask me why.
Nobody knows Nobody cares For most of my childhood I was so scared Anger,confusion,low self esteem The only time I felt happiness Was finding it in my dreams Do you have any idea What it's like living in fear Having to grow up so very fast And to be made to feel your not worthy Because of your past Nobody to talk to,turn to or dry your tears That just adds to your childhood fears So many have been to that place And made to feel there nothing just a waste of space.
The woman was mean and rude spanking me this was a scam taken to their cross like the lamb taking their sin on my skin and daddy's belt and alcoholism sure did not help sickness attracts sickness added to their sin recovery pornography addiction recovery now free God or your Higher Power will get you free scum buckets all the abusers and then I crave some perversion and lust is so strong locked inside of me but that is fantasy I made it right with therapy.
Why am i here Why was i born Tell me the answers I'm struggling to carry on Please mother you have to show me Help me to understand what is the reason i'm here The reason i don't belong.
Why are you you Why am i me Who is it that selected you to rule over me Why are you better Who decided that I'm not going to give up Until all the answers come out. There has to be Another place? Who can understand this child you say As you laugh to my face with nice mothers on the street Pointing laughing and smiling having fun Pretending you're nice. Ssh now don't make a sound Why is it that you are here and you are still bothering me??? What's that you say mother? It would be better if i didn't exist? Silence your voice you do not matter No one cares that your soul searches for answers No one cares No one cares No one cares.
When I was a small child I was badly abused Nobody ever knew or was slightly moved So I just had to live with being regularly abused I lost my childhood it turned so sour So when I was little I thought of him so many hours I became a challenge and was so misunderstood Because in everybody's eyes I could never be any good Tears often running down my face because I was made to feel I'm a total disgrace And not fit to live in the human race Even now I remember the hurt and the pain I tried telling you once mum but it was in vein So some days I felt a burning passion,some days so sad Some days an eternal rage just like animal wounded and trapped in a cage Mum now you've passed away I do think of you nearly every day Why when you used to hear me cry Why the hell didn't you ever ask me why.
At first, the sun was brave but afraid. It rose up courageously from the night Its grace radiated in the sky. But the black clouds came Reminding the sun of the night Of the darkness of the night.
Then thunder crashed all around The clouds tears fell to the Earth The sun was,once again, afraid. It hid away, once again. Afraid to beam down on the Earth. Though the clouds wipe the tears away The thunder tired of its rage The sun anticipated the next storm, But still appeared with grace and glory.
But the sun knew to light up the world It had to Because it had a very special purpose When the night's reign had to end. Innocence taken.
Voice forsaken. He waits, deep down inside. No one sees him, no one hears him strangling scraping away my time. A faint mark of blood shadows your hands? That was me. You weren't to know. The shell is clean. I wander free.
A drop of poison each time you sigh? I walk free. A song of sadness suffocating your smile?
I seem free. The stain imprints on each encounter. Run softly. Walk now because that was me. Im not free. If I could somehow Talk to the little girl me And tell her what I know now I wonder what that would be. Would I tell her all that will occur Or encourage her to go another way? Would I tell her that I believe her And what not to say? Would I warn her of each tragedy That will befall? But then I wouldn't be the me I've come to be Yet still so much will happen to this little girl so small.
Dear little girl I know it's so hard Living in this nightmare world Where you become so scarred And your heart gets so broken From all that you endure. Dear little girl, you are not forsaken I know you want to feel safe and secure. Dear little girl, you are not alone I know that it feels that way As you carry all your sadness on your own.
Dear little girl, there will come a brighter day, Even though it's been so very long And you don't even remember what that is like. Dear little girl, just stay strong Through every strike, I know how very hard that is When it never seems to end.
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Dear little girl, I promise you this, God will send you a wonderful friend More than one actually Who will help you through And become like family, They will surround you.